Redlight District
by zenithoflife
Summary: When an unknown sexually transmittable disease attacks the redlight districts of Sereitei, Yamamoto orders a familiar orangehead captain to check it out without informing anyone else. Who knew that a virus could cause so much trouble? Ichiruki
1. Chapter 1

_When an unknown sexually transmittable disease attacks the redlight districts of Sereitei, Yamamoto orders a familiar oran__gehead captain to check it out without informing anyone else. Who knew that a virus could cause so much trouble?_

**Redlight District **by zenithoflife

Ichigo cursed vilely under his breath as the summer wind blew in another gust of scorching wind.

It was a fucking _hot _day, Ichigo decided, and definitely not the time to be having a serious mature discussion with Byakuya over his adopted sister's future. Scratch that, it was _never _the time to be talking to Byakuya unless it was during a battle with the 6th division taicho trying his best to play the game: How far can I splatter Ichigo's guts all over Sereitei?

But if he had a choice he would be anywhere but here—except that it concerned his approval over Rukia. And that was something that Ichigo was determined not to give up.

Hence, the serious and mature discussion.

Or rather, Byakuya tried his best to find loopholes in the current topic while Ichigo valiantly tried to state his stand.

'I have to appear serious and mature in front of Byakuya,' Ichigo vowed fervently. 'To show him that I am worthy of Rukia!'

But then again, it was not very hard to appear serious and mature with Byakuya's severe face occupying his entire line of vision and added on to the fact that his one hand was currently resting on the hilt of Senbonzakura… you get the idea.

Ichigo would stake all his earthly possessions and his firstborn son besides, that Byakuya was simply itching to bankai his ass on a one-way journey back to earth just for even daring to think that he was worthy of his sister.

And now he was giving a altogether too real attempt at pretending to be a brick wall. Or was he still in shock?

Ooh, look! His mouth was moving!

'What did you come to tell me about your relationship with Rukia? Or have you finally discovered that you are altogether unworthy of her?' Byakuya's voice fairly dripped with sarcasm.

Then again, Ichigo far preferred silence to Byakuya's thin reedy voice… Speech was far too overrated in his opinion. Especially when you were speaking to a man with a stick up his ass 24/7 and was entirely too protective of his dead wife's sister.

But right now, he was too busy bristling in indignation to care very much. How dare Byakuya think that he was not good enough for Rukia?! That unfair prick had the nerve to dare question his intentions when he was the one who was acted all cool and unconcerned when Rukia was almost being executed!

_Act serious and mature. Act serious and mature. I have to act serious and mature--_

'I asked you a question, Kurosaki Ichigo. Are you deaf as well as dumb?'

_Serious and mature__-ness can go to hell for all I care._

He fidgeted uncomfortably in front of the stoic man and tugged at the bottom of his haori. Where the fuck was his speech? He had painstakingly jotted down all the list of things why he was qualified—far too overqualified in fact, as the midget had absolutely no other suitors at all, and which would have earned him a kick from said midget had he had said so.

Except that Rukia had no idea whatsover that he was currently facing her sadistic elder brother—and why oh why did that little voice in his head suggest that he involve Byakuya before he asked her go out with him??? God knows that he wasn't even sure whether that midget liked him enough to allow him to court her.

Although he was absolutely sure that she wasn't thinking so far when they hopped into bed together. Considering that she kept reiterating that it was just lust and sex and nothing else, he felt his ego deflating swiftly with each word.

Though with the number of times she had said it, he would be surprised that he even _had_ an ego to be deflated now.

Or was she undergoing a midlife crisis? Knowing Rukia, it was either that or menopause.

Oh god, why did this thought have to choose this time to raise its head? And why couldn't he have thought about it before he gatecrashed the 6th division?

'I said that I think…that I might…like her. A little,' was all he could stutter out. Why, oh why, was he perpectually rendered speechless in front of Byakuya?! _He _didn't have this problem when talking to Rukia, although Renji did—his permanent stutter was the butt of jokes in the 13th division.

'Oh,' Byakuya raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. 'And you burst into a crowded taicho meeting, interrupted Yamamoto-genryusai in his speech and broke down two doors in my humble abode just to tell me that?'

Three things happened simultaneously. Ichigo planted his hand on the table and leaned in dangerously close to Byakuya, his head almost colliding with Byakuya's kenseikan—and inhaled, preparing to launch into his speech.

And he sneezed.

What could he say? Byakuya's perfume was far too overwhelming, especially at close range. Not that anyone would accuse him of wearing perfume. Especially perfume that smelt entirely too much like sakura blossoms…

Byakuya flinched in disgust, before proceeded to take out a handkerchief and dabbed gingerly at his face. Was stupidity contagious? He debated inwardly before flinching at the amount of germs and bacteria that could have come into contact with his face.

Contrary to all the recurring rumours about how his perfect features that were absolutely without a single blemish which the Shinigami Women's Association said was entirely due to good genes, it took effort. Excessive effort—that had all gone to waste when this rash orange headed shinigami had the audacity to sneeze in his presence—and to add insult to injury, splattering his nasal mucus all over his dignified person!

'Is that all you came to say?' Ichigo swallowed when he saw Byakuya's eyes shine momentarily with what seemed to be blood lust, before he lowered his head, resuming his paperwork.

Ichigo controlled the desire to hit himself hard on the head.

What on earth had he been thinking? Asking Byakuya for permission to court Rukia? He didn't need any permission—he was Kurosaki Ichigo! Not that he had any interest whatsoever in Rukia, no not at all—why on earth would he want to have anything to do with that midget? She was sadistic, violent, rude and had an extremely painful habit of kicking people's shins (mostly his).

Oh for gods sake, he was merely widening the range of his future brides! Why did Byakuya have to choose this time to throw a little hissy fit?

'Except that Rukia isn't just another girl.' A little voice piped up. 'You know that more than anyone else.'

Ichigo told the voice to fuck off and argue with his other voice—which was the very reason he was in here in the first place; and as if one voice in his head wasn't enough to declare himself mental and throw himself on Unohana's mercy.

Then again, between Byakuya and voices in his head, it was no wonder he was on a rapid journey to insanity.

Byakuya's cold eyes surveyed his menacing face, seemingly unruffled by the fact that the fuming orange-headed substitute shinigami was threatening to burst a hole in his ceiling with the livid reiatsu that he was emitting.

His eyebrow twitched in exasperation. What on earth had he done in all his past lives that warranted Kurosaki Ichigo to come bursting into his 6th division quarters and demand that he allow the both of them to—court?

Byakuya couldn't stop the incoming headache that was the result of his overactive imagination trying to imagine the both of them together. This had not helped Ichigo's stand.

Had her stay in the mortal world somehow impaired her ability to think rationally? He had heard that overexposure to the drugs on Earth could lead to such an effect. Added to the fact that the boy's father was a doctor—!

It had been part of the Kuchikis' customs to ensure that their offspring had the basic knowledge of all the different illnesses that could render one's mental capabilities impaired. He thought that she knew better, but should he have made Rukia go through it as well?

Byakuya made a mental note to refer Rukia discreetly to Unohana for a check-up.

He contemplated about the varied ways that he could go about emasculating Ichigo—before composing himself. Kuchikis were above that. They did not prance about secretly mulling over the idea of slicing off important genitals of brash irresponsible boys, thus rendering them unable to reproduce—and therefore being forced to stay somewhere preferably far far away from said Kuchiki's adopted sister.

He sighed. A wonderful daydream—but alas, unattainable; and he cudgelled his brains to find a solution to get the boy away from his sister for the time being.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

'You—' Ichigo spluttered undecorously, 'want me to do—WHAT?!'

Yamamoto didn't even blink. 'Go to the whore houses in Sereitei's famed red-light district and educate them on the dangers on veneral transmittable diseases.'

Ichigo's jaw fell open aghast, before he snapped it shut. 'I don't know what's going through that crackpot mind of yours but you must be going senile! And oh, I forgot to add, I refuse.'

'You dare to refuse a direct order from your General Soutaicho?' Yamamoto glared menacingly at him, reiatsu swelling to admirable heights, considering his age

'I don't give a shit,' Ichigo snapped, the edges of his temper were fraying and dangerously close to snapping completely. That little episode with Byakuya did not make his temper any better. 'I refuse.'

'And why, may I ask?' Yamamoto's wrinkled face loomed menacingly in the horizon as Ichigo scrambled backwards in a panic.

Goddamn Yamamoto, the sight of his pruned face contorted in his well-known death glare simply made one feel the compulsive urge to A) either resist the urge to pee in his pants or B) make a rapid beeline for the toilet to puke up his guts. And damnit if that old geezer didn't use this unfair technique to his advantage.

Ichigo wondered idly if he spent countless hours perfecting that look in front of his mirror just to petrify his opponent with his glare, before he snapped back to the present. Now was not the time to be contemplating the merits of acquiring a death glare (where on earth did they get those—or were they reserved specifically for the nobility? The normal folk in Rukongai were kind and unfailingly courteous—which was more than he could say for Yamamoto at that very moment.)

'I have a girlfriend!' protested Ichigo hotly. 'And the shit is going to hit the fan when Rukia finds out that I am trying to cultivate the image that I frequent whore-houses in my spare time!'

'You are doing it for the good of Soul Society,' dismissed Yamamoto casually with a wave of his hand. 'On whether you actually do, it's up to you what you do in your free time.'

'I DO NOT VISIT PROSTITUTES!' Ichigo felt his head about to burst open, and resisted the urge to shriek and pull his hair out, strand by orange strand. Who knew that Yamamoto could be more irritating than his dad? 'I actually value my life. Now, if you'll open the doors, I promised Rukia I'll take her somewhere actually passable for once—'

'You forced me to resort to this, Kurosaki,' Yamamoto overrode his valiant protests curtly. 'I was under the impression that you would agree once you saw how many lives were at stake—'

'Oh, no. You are not going to guilt-trip me this time, Yamamoto—'

'But you have forced me to make a decision that I would not have wanted to make—' Yamamoto continued dismissively, disregarding him entirely.

'Oh, I get it completely,' Ichigo barked sarcastically. 'You're going to pin me to the ground, make me cry uncle and force me against my will to frequent a brothel?'

Yamamoto merely blinked and looked confused at his passionate outburst. 'I have no idea what violent brutal techniques you humans employ on earth, but we advocate peace and harmony amongst our civilised and refined people.'

Ichigo snorted loudly at this. Fancy words for a guy who was known for his immense reiatsu used to kill people. And even Yachiru's vivid imagination didn't stretch as far as calling Zaraki 'civilised and refined'. Hell, Zaraki would probably castrate whoever who tried.

'—and as for calling you nephew, I can assure you that I have no such intention in that quarter.'

He clicked his fingers and the doors opened as Urahara, Ikkaku and—

'YOU INVOLVED BYAKUYA IN THIS?!'

At least this time he had adequate reason to shriek like a little girl.

'I merely offered my assistance to aid him in finding the most suitable shinigami for Rukia.' Urahara looked injured by his very accusation.

'And he is willing—,' Ichigo saw Byakuya look slightly nauseated at the thought as his Adam's apple bobbed jerkily. '—to give his permission to you courting Rukia should you complete this mission successfully.'

'What I don't see is why can't someone else do it! Get Matsumoto! She'll blend in perfectly!' He protested moodily.

'Do you intent to taint our women's innocence and purity—'

'If Matsumoto is considered pure, then what am I? Then get Ikkaku to do it! He's already so corrupted, what's a little more?' Ichigo growled, eyes darting desperately about. He could feel the steel jaws slowly clamping shut around him.

Ikkaku looked almost as hurt as the time Yachiru thought his head was a giant lollipop and chewed on it for half a day.

'He wouldn't be able to do it. Neither can Hisagi for that matter. They have an instant nosebleed just at the sight of Matsumoto's assets jiggling.'

'So do I! So does every living breathing man near them!'

'Are you calling me an alien, Kurosaki?' inquired Byakuya coldly.

Ichigo sweatdropped, momentarily feeling the claws of death twining round his neck.

'Yare yare, Byakuya! Don't take things so seriously! Besides, Ichigo, you're the only one with medical background and still unmarried! And the only thing you did when Yoruichi poofed into her nude form and when Matsumoto tries to entice you was to blush to the roots of your carrothead and scowl before turning away!! Isn't he the ideal boyfriend material, Byakuya?'

'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING CARROTHEAD?!'

'Now, now Ichigo. I'm on your side here!'

'I thank you not to involve me in your inane caprices,' intoned Byakuya, ignoring the desperate struggles of Urahara as Ichigo tried his best to throttle him to death.

'Then what about Shunsui?!' Ichigo demanded.'No offence but that perv wouldn't mind! He probably has all the whore-houses on speed dial!'

'We need someone who won't fall prey to the lethal claws of their feminine charms,' Yamamoto countered. 'And that is a sign that you are sexually mature enough.'

Ichigo winced and struggled to free his hands that clamped themselves automatically to his ears. The images that assaulted his brain when he associated Yamamoto and sex were to disturbing to contemplate, and he shuddered instinctively.

'Hitsugaya?'

'Too young and inexperienced. Same goes for Renji.'

Ichigo scoffed. He didn't see how the redhead was less experienced than him—'For god's sake, Renji's probably a hundred years older than me! Or more!'

'But he won't be able to take the trauma,' Urahara wheedled.

'More like he won't be able to control himself,' whispered Ikkaku behind his hand—and Ichigo forced himself not to laugh.

Ichigo was running out of options. Captain Ukitake was out—his illness might flare up and he needed medication. Plus he was with Captain Unohana anyway. An angry Unohana was a scary Unohana and Ichigo had enough on his plate without having to cope with a vengeful jealous female captain out for someone's blood (namely his for volunteering Ukitake.)

'Anyone else?' Ikkaku chuckled behind his hand as Ichigo's eyes narrowed. He could just imagine him was laughing at his plight! He made a mental note to sic Yumichika on Ikkaku later.

'Z-Zaraki?' He offered weakly.

Yamamoto didn't even bother to answer. 'Then it's final. Kurosaki Ichigo, I am sending you to check if the girls have any sexually transmittable diseases and to teach them how to protect themselves.'

Ichigo swore that there was a tinge of pink flushing Yamamoto's cheeks. Who knew that old geezer could blush?

'Is there any reason why you are staring at Yamamoto-genryusai's cheeks, Kurosaki?' asked Byakuya pointedly.

'Why you—'

'Now, now. Play nice the both of you,' Urahara clapped his hands.

'I thank you not to associate me with my inferiors, Urahara Kisuke,' glared Byakuya icily.

Urahara swallowed. He could have sworn he felt his life flash in front of his eyes. A sudden silence reigned for a second before—

'WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING YOUR INFERIOR?!'

'Anyway,' coughed Yamamoto as the room subsided into silence again. 'I command the three of you to keep this matter to yourself as the number of nobles that frequent the redlight district and thus there is a high probability that many of them have contracted it already.'

'Then all the more we should inform them,' Ichigo pointed out as Byakuya nodded in agreement. 'This will lessen the number of people that do go there and in turn drastically decrease the number of infected people.'

'You don't understand, Kurosaki,' Urahara contradicted. 'This is a rare disease that can be passed through physical contact—kissing, copulating—'

'Kissing?' interjected Ichigo.'I thought veneral diseases were merely caused through the exchange of bodily fluids.'

'As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,' Urahara continued as Ichigo scowled at him. 'It is extremely rare and one that we have not stumbled across before. We need to thoroughly carry out research on it before we can—'

'Then we should tell them of this,' interrupted Ikkaku. 'The earlier we tell them, the more they can avoid physical contact with infected victims—'

'This would cause untold panic and destruction the likes of which Sereitei cannot afford to deal with!' Yamamoto bit out. '3rd seat of the 11th division, I thank you to .Place. I understand where you are coming from but I cannot and will not let Sereitei crumble from the inside!'

'This disease incapacitates the host's body from tenuous exercise—making them lose control over their bodies,' Urahara continued as Ikkaku seemed to be reduced to silence at Yamamoto's harsh rebuke. 'At worse, the host will be rendered permenantly brain damaged.'

'And Aizen might seize this opportunity to launch an attack on Soul Society,' Byakuya nodded. 'I understand.'

'Finally,' murmured Urahara under his breath as Byakuya directed a chilling death glare his way.

'But what about Rukia?' burst out Ichigo. 'She'll think I'm—I'm— And I can't even tell her otherwise—' He didn't even want to think about the consequences.

'And that's how I will choose to test your feelings for her,' Byakuya swiftly interjected. 'To see if the both of your feelings can go through this test unscathed. The first one you have to visit is called S&M. 21 Kanosuwa Street, in the Hiroshina district near Rukongai. Unless you are afraid you might stray off the path…'

'Is this a test of the both of our feelings—or mine alone?' retorted Ichigo, orange hair shielding his eyes. 'I know how much you hate to see me with Rukia, Byakuya—but you don't have to resort to such tactics!'

He turned to Yamamoto. 'I accept the mission, Yamamoto. And apologize for my reluctance.'

Ichigo and Ikkaku shunpoed off together, leaving the rest of them behind.

'Go easy on him, Byakuya,' advised the former 12th division captain. 'I never thought I'll say this but he's a good boy at heart.'

'I fail to see how my methods involve you, Urahara,' stated Byakuya frigidly. 'As long as the job is done…'

'By sending him to the hardest brothel at once?' replied Urahara. 'You know no man can resist the temptations of S&M. Even you did not come out unscathed. The least you could do was to build up his resistance slowly.'

He shunpoed off without waiting for an answer, leaving Byakuya and Yamamoto behind

Byakuya stared off into the distance, eyes fathomless.

**To be continued…**

**Reviews are always appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Redlight District**

Kurosaki Ichigo bounded awake, gasping for breath, arms flailing to grasp something that was just out of his reach. He sighed grimly as he examined the imprint of his fingers digging into his arm.

Again.

It was the same dream again, plaguing his mind, engulfing his senses with an impalpable fear. Ichigo ignored the insidous darkness that rose instinctively as he gripped his head tightly.

What the fuck was that?

He scrambled for the name that was just at the tip of his tongue, but yet it stubbornly evaded his grasp.

'Ria? Reina?' He probed, rolling the words experimentally around his mouth—it just felt _off_. 'Reiko?' It was so tantalizingly close and yet it seemingly felt like he was grasping at droplets of sand on the beach, as they crumbled through his outstretched fingers, despite his vise-like grip.

Like he was standing at the precipice of a deep abyss of something and yet—and yet—he just had this unspeakable feeling that he was forgetting or losing something.

_Yeah, Ichigo_, the rational voice within him taunted. _The only thing you're losing here is your mind._

The words sounded like a garbled mess that just sounded wrong. He had the words but he just lacked the connection to make them fit.

Ichigo threw himself backwards, clutching his head. What in the seven hells had he been doing?

_Take deep breaths_, he coached himself._ Remind yourself of who you are._

'Okay,' he grumbled out loud, voice sounding raspy hoarse and far too loud in the utter silence of his room. He looked around—since when had his room been this big?

_And lonely, _his mind added. _As if something was missing. Or someone._

_Baka_, he chatised himself. _It's one in the fucking morning. What the hell did you expect? Your dad to dive into the room and try to kill you?_

Ichigo snorted. He wouldn't put it past his idiotic father to make a valiant attempt to kill him in his sleep. Nevermind that his all previous tries had failed—that bastard simply continued on with his antics. It probably made him all the more fired up instead.

And he dismissed the niggling feeling that it wasn't a problem that could be solved that simply.

Glancing idly at his clock, he sighed, running his fingers through his unruly hair. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he was just tired of this.

_Everything, _his mind supplied.

Isshin had taught him this when the dreams had started. Even though he couldn't believe that he was taking advice from his dad of all people, they did work. To a certain extent. The first time he had sprung out of bed, awoken from that dream, Isshin had found him trembling, curled up on his bed, with his head buried in his hands.

It wasn't that it was a nightmare—far from it. It had just been so real, that he could stretch out his hand and touch the grainy images that had flickered in his mind, flashes of a life, of people he didn't know and had never met before. Yet, it just felt so damn familiar…

_Like you had gone through it before_, the unspoken words were crystal clear even in the silence.

'Okay,' he grumbled, unwilling to go through the motions, but secretly glad that this was something he knew. The familiar pattern, the way a faded worn shirt fitted snugly on his frame.

This was familiar, this was comfortable, this was something he could cope with—not that there was anything he couldn't.

'Easy. Start small,' he muttered to himself. 'My name is Kurosaki Ichigo. Age 24. Occupation: paediatrician. Side job: moonlighting as a death reaper. Taught by idiotic father on how to send ghosts to purgatory. Or whatever hell that's on the other side.'

His vague murmurings soon faded into silence as he surrendered himself to the waiting embrace of sleep.

And the faded scent of sakura blossoms permeaded the air with its fragrance.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

_It was a few __insipid hackneyed lines but he just couldn't fucking say it. Three stupid words, three fucking syllables. And he couldn't bring himself to say it before it got caught in his throat._

_It was what normal people said to other people. Nothing exceptional or out of the ordinary. Just that __it were so frickin' hard to say that he wondered how anybody else accomplished this feat of colossal magnitude._

_And if he was like any other normal guy (from his limited experience culled from the various soap opera dramas that Yuzu and Karin forced him through__—he was pretty sure they traumatized him for life), he would choose a normal nice high-class restaurant, pull out her chair, present her with a red rose and tell her that he loved her. _

_And this would happen all while the sun as if following some magical clockwork timetable planned out by Corny Guy A, would set in the background illuminating the barely concealed joy on both of their faces. Cue their joyful run in the setting sun, and more importantly holding hands, before proceeding to their happy ending where they would all live happily ever after._

_Fuck that. _

_He barely passed for a normal guy. To be honest, what kind of guy saw ghosts and had a perverted dad who encouraged his offspring to have sex? While she definitely did not pass for a normal girl (even without her height and her tendency to kick other people—namely him—in the shins). _

_And even if he did bring her to a normal restaurant like any other normal people (and it was not a date, definitely not a date), she would most probably do absurd things like poke him in the leg with the butter knife like the last time he had the crazy idea to bring her out__. And that had been the least painful mistake that she had made. _

_And if he made a move to pull out her chair or do anything remotely resembling a gentleman, she would most likely throw a hissy fit and think that he was underestimating her abilities to do things for herself. Either that or she would probably kick him (again) or worse, laugh her head off which was more than he could bear and which happened the last time he tried._

_Ichigo buried his head in his hands, decided that this was not going where he thought it was going and made a mental note to himself to ask Ishida where he bro__ught Orihime for his first non-date when he confessed. _

_He pushed Yamamoto's assignment to the recesses of his mind. He could deal with that later._

_-__o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-_

_Rukia didn't know what she was doing there. __She was with a heavily drunk Orihime, a passed out Matsumoto and Tatsuki who looked like she was intent on world domination. Not to mention a forlorn Chizuru who was disconsolate over the loss of Orihime's single status and intent on drinking herself to death. _

_All in all, it looked as if it was going to be a wonderful night._

_First, it had been merely a little thing—something that Tatsuki had raised on their girls' night out, before it had snowballed into a list of problems that rose in their separate relationships. _

_And __with all the alcohol that Chizuru (who had still not gotten over her absurd crush on Orihime and with every word that fell from her mouth about Ishida, looked like she was getting stabbed in the heart) provided, the evening proved to be very interesting. _

_For one, it gave her hidden insight into all of their relationships—Orihime's complain was that despite all his sharp edges and cold demeanour (Rukia was still suffering from sub-degree chills from being in the same room with both Hitsugaya and Ishida at the same time), he was too gentle in his love-making. _

_Rukia stifled a grin behind a strategically positioned glass of sake. Ishida—gentle? This was going to be some great blackmail material if Ishida started spouting all the crap about Quincy's strength and might again. _

'_He's a__lways too cautious,' slurred an obviously intoxicated Orihime. 'Even when he's…' Her enormous bosom heaved up and down in her intensity._

_Rukia tuned her out__. Even after massive amounts of alcohol, she still didn't think she woud be able to stand to hear the extent of the Quincy's ineptitude when it came to sex; and she fluttered her eyelashes coyly at a random guy sitting across the bar counter. _

_He almost fell off his stool in his excitement. _

_She giggled to herself, revelling in h__er newfound powers. There was omething vaguely wrong about this scenario but she couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. After half a dozen various cocktails, even discussing the size of Renji's reproductive organs…_

'_Wait, Renji?' She blurted out now, interrupting Tatsuki's impassionate speech ab__out how Renji's lack of romance was singlehandedly destroying their relationship. 'I thought we were talking about Ishida.'_

'_Pfft, Ishida,' Tatsuki waved off dismissively. 'Who cares about him? Although he is tons better than Renji.'_

_Orihime swelled with ill-concealed pride, and prepared to launch into another extensively long list of Ishida's good traits before being cut off artfully by Tatsuki. _

_Thank the gods, thought Rukia with a sigh of relief. She didn't think she could bear Chizuru's dejected glances at Orihime anymore._

'_Speaking of which,' hiccuped Matsumoto, lifting her head off the table with an effort. 'What—hic—about Ichigo? All of them have talked—hic—about their boyfriends already except you.'_

_Trust Matsumoto to remember these things even when she was drunk as a fish._

'_Yeah,' chimed in Chizuru, eager to get off the topic off Ishida. 'Tell us about the sex.'_

_All of a sudden, the thought of talking about Ishida for the next hour or so seemed very interesting… Either that or thinking about the various ways she could kill Matsumoto and Chizuru slowly and satisfyingly._

_Rukia sent a death glare at the both of them.__ 'Nothing much.'_

'_There's nothing much to tell, or the sex was not worth mentioning?' probed Matsumoto. 'Although I never thought Ichigo would be that bad, with his giant zampakuto and all.'_

'_Yeah,' piped up Orihime, perking up at the subject of Ichigo's inability to pull through. 'He did get voted second in the list of guys we wouldn't mind going to sleep—'_

'_I knew it!' Matsumoto announced triumphantly. 'No one could have such a big-ass zampakuto without going wrong somewhere! Maybe he's commitment shy? Or does he have some problems there? I have some aphrodisiac that can improve it! I guarantee after use, you won't be able to stand straight for a month—' _

'_No,' cut off Rukia. She didn't even want to know where Matsumoto got her ideas from. '__The sex is great.'_

_Mindblowingly fantastic, her mind supplied. But what they don't know won't hurt them._

'_But…?' Matsumoto let her voice trail off suggestively. She had a scary way of sensing when there was trouble in paradise. _

_Rukia groaned. Since when had the subject turned to her??? Although with Matsumoto around, she could have made even Aizen spill all the juicy details of his love life within an hour. And she had always suspected that he was secretly gay. Why else would he keep Gin and Grimmjow around otherwise?_

'_What?!' Chizuru added her voice to the ruckus. 'You're not together? I thought that Ichigo would have made a move long ago. How long does it take to tell a girl you like her anyway?'_

_Rukia grimaced. She should have known better and kept her mouth shut. Even if time didn't matter to her as a dead shinigami, it was still kind of pathetic when she realised that she had been pining after a boy for 9 straight years. _

_Not kind of. Really pathetic. Even to herself._

_And he still didn't know that she kind of—maybe—really liked him. _

_Fuck. This conversation with herself was getting more and more awkward when confronted with 3 inquisitive faces. Not counting Chizuru who was still getting steadily drunker. And who had no interest in this conversation as it did not concern two naked females in a sack._

_Ah well. Thank god for small favors. One less person to laugh at her miserable non-existent love life._

_Now, time to make a fool out of herself. What a__n absolutely fantasatic way to round up the evening._

_-__o -o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-_

_And that's how Rukia found herself pouring out all her problem__s with Ichigo—how he was only with her for the sex and how she missed him even when she was with him._

_Orihime and Matsumoto who only wanted to find out how far their sex life had proceeded__ so that they could compare notes, enthusiastically plied her with more drinks and chased after her when she tried to escape their intense questioning._

'_What you shoul__d do, Rukia,' advised Matsumoto, 'is to tell him that you love him.'_

'_I don't love him!' exclaimed Rukia, horrified. 'I'm only with him for the sex!'_

'_Pssht,' waved off Matsumoto dismissively. 'You certainly didn't wait for him nine years just because you were in __like with him!'_

'_Yeah__hh,' Chizuru lifted her head up blearily. 'I'm reeeeally sure when God told man to go forth and sow their seed, they weren't advocating pre-maritial sex.' She grinned drunkenly before sliding to the floor by the inexorable force of gravity. _

_Rukia glanced at the unconscious form of Chizuru before launching back into the conversation. Both Orihime, Tatsuki and Matsumoto were all up in arms about Rukia's apparent 'betrayal of her feminity' (__definitely Orihime) by 'not proclaiming her love' (Tatsuki) to the 'masculine gift of raw sexuality that God has seen fit to grace the earth' (Matsumoto)._

'_Honestly, what's with the constant references to God anyway???__ We're shinigami for God's sake!!!' Rukia drained back another glass of wine. She needed more liquor if she wanted to get through this evening alive. _

'_You realise you just contradicted yourself?' Matsumoto interrupted with an evil grin._

'_I hate you, Matsumoto,' Rukia gritted out from behind clenched teeth._

'_Just tell him!!! What harm can it do?'_

'_I'm only with him for the sex__!' Rukia clawed at her head. She could sense a massive headache incoming prayed for strength. 'And I reserve the right to have my own privacy!'_

_There was a sudden silence and Rukia lifted her head from her buried arms. 'What—' _

_And she saw__ the man in question standing at the door of the bar. Added on to the fact that said gift of raw sexuality had been unfortunately heading her way when she was pleading guilty to the third amendment, and you got Rukia's current predicament._

_She saw an unmistakably fleeting glimpse of pain before his usual arrogant smirk slammed back into place._

'_Ichigo—'_

'_I'll just leave you two lovebirds to yourselves!' Matsumoto broke in jovially. 'Orihime's bringing Chizuru home!'_

'_Ehhh?' Orihime shrieked. 'But I—'_

_Rukia felt a slight twinge of pity for the buxom girl—she would probably be groped by Chizuru even before they were out of the pub. Although considering Chizuru's state of intoxication, she probably wouldn't have the strength to try anything. In theory that is._

'_Ichigo—' She stood up from the counter seat—who knew that these seats were so high?—before he caught her. Like she knew he would.__ After all, he had never let her fall so why would this be any different?_

'_Hey—' She found herself swept up and slung over his back when she was in the midst of her thoughts. 'Let me down!'_

'_No way, midget,' Ichigo grimaced as one of her well-timed kicks nailed him in the face. 'Oi!'_

'_Sheesh,' Rukia relaxed as he began the walk home, knowing that any struggle would be to no avail. He wouldn't allow her to walk home the ground was really far away. 'You know you just caused my whole dream of being carried bridal-style to be razed to ashes?'_

_Ichigo grunted. 'I'm pretty sure that the Grimm brothers weren't thinking about you specifically when they wrote Cinderella.'_

'_Asshole.' She elbowed him in the head. That was the only part of his anatomy that she could reach anyway. _

'_Bitch.' He rubbed his head and scowled. 'This is what I get when I come out and get you? Ungrateful midget.'_

'_Speaking of which, how did you know where to find us?' Rukia wondered out loud._

'_I went to look for you when you weren't back and Dad said that you went for a drink with friends. And this was the only pub around.'_

_She winced a little when she recalled what happened when he entered. 'Ichigo, you know, at the pub, I—'_

'_It's fine,' Ichigo cut her off. He wasn't sure that he wanted or dared to hear any explanation she could offer._

'_I—' She was cut off by a harsh oath before he twisted her around and she yelped as she fell into his hands. _

'_What the—' She was silenced by his lips on hers as he invaded her hot orifice with his tongue. Fuck, he was causing her to lose her train of thought especially when their tongues battled for dominance. _

_She wondered hazily what she had been talking about before he glided his skillful tongue through her teeth to nip her bottom lip and she decided that it didn't matter. All that existed now was him and only him._

_Her hands found purchase in his hair and she tugged forcefully, trying to meld his body to hers as he groaned—a deep guttural __vibration that emanated from his lips to her toes. He poured out her unleashed passion and raw lust into that one kiss as if the world was ending and she was the one thing that chained him to the ground. _

_She could feel—she could feel his heart trembling below her hand as he cradled her towards him. _

_Ichigo tore his lips off her and grinned at her rapid breathing. 'Thought you would have gotten used to that already, midget.'_

_Rukia flushed red as he slung her over his shoulder again before kicking him in the abdomen. _

_He lurched in his step before regaining his balance. 'Fuck, Rukia, I almost dropped you!'_

'_I never wanted to be carried in the first place,' w__as her self-righteous response. _

_Idiotic midget, he decided. Except that another reason to carry her was so that she couldn't see the anguish in his eyes whenever he thought about the way she could so easily deny this messed-up situati__on that was their relationship._

_And they thought that it was the men who were the ones with the commitment issues. A laugh broke out from behind his clenched teeth. If this had been a Korean drama serial, it couldn't have been more hilarious._

_He could have laughed at the amount of time he had spent obsessing over how to tell her something that she didn't even want to hear in the first place._

_He didn't need to tell her that anymore but what struck him was how he didn't know how much he wanted to tell it to her. The bile that rose up in the back of his throat almost nauseated him. _

_Ichigo sighed, glad that Rukia had fallen asleep somewhere along the long walk back. Well, at least knowing that would make Yamamoto's assignment a hell of a lot easier._

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: Please don't kill me for not updating for so long!!! It's just that I have an important exam coming up and I totally havent been studying. I hope Ichigo isn't too OOC, is he???

I had this planned out way in advance but never got around to actually penning it down! And I forgot how much I love to write. So anyway, this story is going to be pretty much fluctuating between the past and present! The ones in italics are his memories from the past!

Thanks so much to goku's daughter, kaiserkawaii, Black Sun Upon An Icy Sky, Firisu and KuroiTsuki7 for reviewing!

Please tell me what you think!

-zenithoflife


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